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Pedro & Speedy Scottish Scott

Alright, listen up, vatos! So this one time, my amigo, Scottish Scott, decided he was gonna live it up big in Pattaya. We’re talkin’ about a night at one of them fancy go-go clubs, where the lights are brighter than a piñata on fire and the girls are dancin' like it’s their last fiesta.

So Scott’s been eyeing this one chica all night. She’s got him wrapped around her little finger, dancing just for him, making him feel like a king or somethin’. After a few too many shots of tequila, Scott decides he’s gonna bar fine her. He’s all hyped, throwing around baht like he’s got money to burn, ya know?

He takes her to one of those short-time hotels. You know the kind, real classy. They got those vibrating beds and everything, man. Scott’s ready to have the time of his life. But guess what happens? They get to it, and my man, Scott, ends up finishing the race in record time—less than a minute, homes! I'm talking faster than Speedy Gonzales on a good day!

So now, Scott’s just laying there, staring at the ceiling, all embarrassed while the chica’s looking at him like, “That’s it, ese?” I’m laughing my ass off just thinking about it because he spent like 6,000 baht for a 60-second ride! I tell him, “Scott, you just set a new personal best, bro!”

The next day, he’s trying to act all cool about it, but you know he’s gonna hear about this for weeks. I keep reminding him, “Hey, sometimes it’s quality over quantity, right, hermano?” But Scott’s not convinced, looking like he got short-changed at the carnival.

Now every time we pass that go-go club, I just nudge him and say, “Ready for round two, Speedy?” He turns redder than a jalapeño, but hey, that’s how we roll in Pattaya! You win some, you lose some, but you always get a story out of it.